Your friend stares at a picture of herself, makes a face, and says, “I hate the way I look.” You want to help—but you don’t know what to say to someone with body image issues.
Body image struggles run deeper than surface-level insecurities and affect a person’s mental health and self-worth. It’s hard to watch someone you care about feel this way, but you can help.
My name is Jenny Wegner, and I have been helping people overcome their struggles with eating disorders for the past 17 years. My expertise comes from first-hand experience working at eating disorder treatment centers in addition to my private practice.
This article will walk you through supportive phrases and strategies to help people with body image issues feel seen, valued, and supported.
What Are Body Image Issues?
Body image refers to the way a person perceives, thinks about, and feels toward their body. For some people, this perception matches reality.
For others, it is distorted and creates a negative view of their size, shape, or overall appearance.
This causes people to feel uncomfortable, self-conscious, and anxious about how they look. Here are common triggers for these concerns:
- Social media
- Cultural expectations
- Criticism
- Past trauma
- Body changes
Body Insecurity Examples
People experiencing body image issues might:
Avoid mirrors
- Obsess over perceived flaws
- Feel compelled to weigh themselves often
- Hide their bodies with loose clothing
- Frequently criticize their appearance, such as being too heavy, too skinny, etc.
- Resort to extreme dieting or exercise to try to “fix” what they see as problems
- Shy away from activities that bring attention to their appearance, such as swimming
How to Help Your Partner With Body Image Issues
Here’s how you can help a loved one if they struggle with body image issues:
1. Show Love Through Actions, Not Just Words
While compliments are nice, actions speak louder. Show your partner that you love and value them as they are through:
- Planning quality time together doing activities they enjoy
- Avoiding bringing diet talk or weight-focused conversations into your home
2. Compliment Beyond Appearance
If your partner is insecure about their looks, you should focus on their personality, skills, or the way they make you feel. You can say phrases like:
- You have such a calming presence—I always feel better when I’m with you.
- I love how you’re always there for anybody who needs help—it’s one of my favorite things about you.
3. Avoid Pushing Solutions
It’s natural to want to fix things, but you need to resist giving quick solutions like diet changes or exercise plans unless your partner explicitly asks for help.
For instance, holidays like Thanksgiving can be tricky as they center around food and gatherings. If you notice your partner is dealing with an eating disorder, you should learn how to handle the holidays sensitively—in a way that prioritizes their comfort.
You could say something like, “We can leave whenever you’re ready—I’m here for you.” This will help them feel supported without adding pressure to “fix” the situation.
What to Say When Someone Is Insecure About Their Body
When someone shares their insecurities with you, your words don’t have to be perfect. What matters most is that they come from a place of care and understanding.
Here are nine thoughtful ways to respond:
- I hear you, and I can only imagine how hard this must feel for you right now.
- I completely understand. It’s okay not to love every part of yourself right now.
- I can see how much this is bothering you; it’s completely valid to feel this way.
- I know you don’t see it right now, but there’s so much about you that’s beautiful.
- You’re being really hard on yourself, and I wish you could see yourself the way I do.
- You have such a big heart, and that’s what makes you truly beautiful to everyone around you.
- You’re doing the best you can, and that’s more than enough.
- You’ve been through so much, and you still keep going. That’s something to be proud of, and you deserve kindness for it.
- I hope you can start speaking to yourself with the same kindness you show everyone else—you deserve that love, too.
What to Do for Someone With Body Image Issues
A study found that when friends provide care and support, they help stop negative self-image from spiraling out of control. If you’re wondering how to help a friend with body image issues, here are some steps to take:
- Listen without interrupting—Sometimes, the best thing you can do is simply be present. Let them share their feelings without offering solutions or advice unless they ask for it.
- Support their journey without pressure—Encourage them to take small steps toward self-care without pushing them too hard. If they’re open to suggestions, you can recommend journaling, mindfulness, or even therapy.
- Suggest professional support if needed—If their struggles seem overwhelming, you could encourage them to talk to a therapist or counselor. You could start by sharing your experience with therapy, what it was like for you, and how it helped you.
What Not to Say to Someone With Body Image Issues
Even with the best intentions, some phrases come across as dismissive, hurtful, or unhelpful. Here’s what to avoid saying and why:
- Don’t minimize their feelings—Saying things like, “It’s not a big deal” or “You’re being too hard on yourself” can make them feel like their emotions aren’t valid.
- Avoid comparisons—Statements like, “At least you’re not as (negative comparison) as them” or “I wish I had your body” reduce your loved one’s experience to a relative measure, which may make them feel even more self-conscious.
- Don’t pressure them to feel better—Body image issues require time and patience to work through. Statements like, “You should try to be more confident!” and “Stop worrying about it” oversimplify their struggle and can invalidate their feelings.
Find the Care You Need Today
Negative body image isn’t just a fleeting insecurity—it deeply affects a person’s confidence, mental health, and happiness. When left unaddressed, it can lead to serious issues like eating disorders or depression.
If you’re concerned that the body image struggles of a loved one may be affecting their health, show them that they don’t have to face this alone. An eating disorder therapist in Denver can help them unpack their feelings and develop a healthier relationship with their body.
Ready to take the first step? Book a free 30-minute consultation today!
FAQ
What is body dysmorphic disorder?
Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental health condition where someone becomes intensely focused on perceived flaws in their appearance that others may not notice. Common signs of BDD include spending excessive time checking mirrors, avoiding social situations, or struggling with feelings of shame and self-consciousness.
What is body talk?
Body talk refers to the way we discuss, think about, or express feelings regarding our bodies, including appearance, health, and abilities. These topics can include discussions about fitness, nutrition, medical concerns, or even societal pressures around body image. Body talk can influence how anyone feels about themselves, especially if the conversations are critical or unrealistic.
Can you compliment someone with body dysmorphia?
Be a patient, nonjudgmental friend, and gently encourage positive self-care habits like nutrition and mindfulness. Cheering up someone with body dysmorphia involves validating their feelings while gently reminding them they’re not alone.
What do you say to a guy with body dysmorphia?
Reassure him that his feelings are valid and remind him of his strengths beyond physical appearance. For young people and adults alike, body dysmorphia can be especially tough for men due to societal pressures to appear “strong” or “confident.” It can also help to encourage conversations about his goals, passions, or friendships, which are signs of his worth beyond looks.
What does a person with body dysmorphia see?
They may perceive flaws in their appearance that others don’t notice or see at all. A person might focus on one part of their appearance, like their skin or weight, and struggle to see their body objectively. For them, these perceived flaws can dominate their thoughts and affect their life in profound ways, including their nutrition and social interactions
Can I book a consultation on behalf of a friend with body dysmorphia?
Yes! If you or a loved one is exhibiting signs of body image disorder, then I encourage you to get a free consultation! Jenny Wegner Therapy is located in Denver, CO but can service clients all over Colorado.